


Breaking Point

by IreneClaire



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s01e24 Oia'i'o (Trust), Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Team, Team Bonding, s01e14 Pu'Ol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-15
Updated: 2012-06-15
Packaged: 2017-11-16 15:26:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/540970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IreneClaire/pseuds/IreneClaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny becomes deeply depressed when he learns Rachel's baby likely isn't his child. After helping to deliver another man's child, things escalate. The problem is - he's in a dark place and he didn't tell anyone where he might go or for how long. Loosely based around Season 1 Ep 24 Oia'I'o and Season 2, Ep 14 Pu'Ol</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Plot Bunny suggested by CinderH](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Plot+Bunny+suggested+by+CinderH).



> I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any characters. No copyright infringement intended.
> 
> Summary: I hope you like it! I had GREAT fun writing it.

Danny's exuberant high that night when Rachel told him about her new pregnancy and her maternal feelings that the baby was undoubtedly "his" couldn't be quelled. In fact, he remembered feeling just a bit more than triumphant – in his ex-wife's true British slang he would have been called "quite chuffed" with himself. His ego was full of self-congratulations, personal high-fives, and sarcastic thoughts of " _take that and chew on it, step-Stan_."

But many weeks later he found himself with devastating feelings very much the opposite. He had reached the proverbial last straw, gotten a solid kick in the teeth – reached his final breaking point.

He had already left work and was at his apartment when he answered the phone with happy anticipation just a few months ago. Rachel was back in the States and she would have had her first pregnancy exam. But the happy expectations hadn't played out during the phone call and Danny had begun to enter a dark place.

" _Danny, I'm so sorry. I doctor says that I've gotten the dates wrong. The baby isn't yours – it must be Stan's_.". His ex had wept on the phone for she had truly wanted it to be Danny's child as well. He did know that. But he was past caring and didn't feel like acknowledging her feelings at the time.

In fact, he had missed any and all of her last words. Hanging up in silence, he effectively terminated the conversation, and proceeded to turn off his cell phone completely to deflect and avoid any future calls from Mrs. Rachel Edwards, former wife and current ex-wife of him, Detective Daniel Williams. With a rising anger, Danny threw his cell phone like a small missile across the small, rented unit.

But Rachel had returned to Hawaii – to be with Stan, Grace in tow and Danny had stayed. The even more unsettled routine of sharing Grace resumed with added stress.

That is, until now – and that treacherous day when Danny delivered another man's newborn son. The baby boy that he desperately had wanted to be his own had been born seven days earlier. Danny had been there – again he had stepped up and done the right thing. But this time it hurt and it hurt more deeply than anyone could have imagined.

The rest of the Five-O team had noticed a change in their team-mate after the child's birth. It would have been understandable had he shaken it off after a day or two. But instead he became more sullen, less talkative and seemingly resentful of his job. In fact during a recent arrest, Steve's nonchalant "book 'em, Danno" that was said fully in jest, was met with a stony silence before Danny bluntly said "do it yourself" and stalked off to sit in the Camaro. The rest of the week was nearly impossible for the rest of the team. The growing and misplaced anger of their friend had him refusing to allow Steve drive his car. The dynamic had changed and not for the better.

An uncalled for growl of "get over it McGarrett. It's my car damn-it …." Before departing the office to check on a possible homicide, finally put Steve also over the top.

The two had it out in the office with McGarrett throwing his hands up in the air and telling Danny to go home "just get out of here until you get over this thing – this problem of yours."

So he had left. In fact, he drove aimlessly for hours around Oahu and finally left the city completely as dusk fell. Spontaneously, he swung into a liquor store and purchased the first bottle of whiskey he saw on the shelf. By late evening, the Camaro was close to running out of gas. Danny eventually found himself checking into a remote and dilapidated motel near what seemed to be an unpopular tourist destination. For why would anyone travel to reach this particular place? It was definitely off the beaten path. The beach, if it could be called one, was a natural, tangled mess of roots, trees and rockiness.

Not knowing why he did it, Danny paid the motel owner with cash and asked to not be disturbed. Sam Akana took Danny's money and gave the detective an old room key.

"Room nine, brah. Down at the end". Danny mumbled a brief thanks and left the office.

The guy he gave a key to for room nine simply oozed "COP from his pores", but Sam couldn't have cared less. Money was money and the same color no matter how it came to him. He didn't look for trouble and trouble rarely found Sam Akana. If this gentleman needed some private, quiet time – well then he would have it – who was Sam Akana to interfere with a paying customer?

Danny had nothing to bring in with him from the Camaro. He stared silently into the cars' innards and then locked and left it where it was parked near his room.

That had been three days ago. The baby was now eight days old. Since then, Danny was alternating between laying on the old bed in the room in complete darkness and sitting along on the deserted wild beach near Sam's motel. His gun was often in his hands while in the hotel room. The first bottle of whiskey was long gone. The empty was in the garbage pail in the bathroom. His badge, cell phone with battery long dead had been tossed negligently on the floor.

Currently, it was raining but Danny was outside and sitting on a rock near the water's edge. He had no idea what day of the week it was by this point. Everything had merged together.

"Here you go, brah." And a paper sack was thrust into his hands with two new bottles of whiskey and two sandwiches.

Danny had paid Sam to pick his "supplies" up from the local convenience store. Sam willingly obliged for this newest 'customer" paid quite well.

Looking up with haunted eyes, Danny replied simply. "Thanks." And then went back to staring at the ocean. He was soaked to the skin but didn't feel it.

Hesitating briefly, Sam looked at the man who was in such obvious sadness. "You okay, brah? Sitting out here in the rain isn't so good. You might want to come in now. Sit out here later when this clears up."

Danny sighed deeply and closed his eyes. He forced himself to speak. " _The guy means well …_."

"You're right." He conceded and put on a strained half-smile for Sam. "I'll do that. Thanks again for picking this stuff up for me." Getting up, he grabbed the bag Sam had brought him and slowly returned to his room.

Sam watched him walk away and enter the motel room, firmly closing the door behind him. With compassion, Sam quietly addressed Danny's departing figure outloud. "You seem like a nice guy, brah. Hope it works out for you." And Sam also went inside to his office in an effort to escape the rain.

Locking the door, Danny opened the second bottle and took a long swig of the whiskey. It burned as it went down and did very little to make him feel better. But he did feel warmer on the inside from the chilly rain.

He pulled one of the sandwiches out of the bag and opened the wrapper. But he couldn't bring himself to take more than a bite before leaving it on the side table near the bed.

Still wet, for he had no change of clothes, he sat on the bed up against the headboard. Pillows piled up behind his back. Spying his gun on the same side table by the bed, he settled both the bottle and the gun in his lap and turned on the TV. The gun was familiar – it was the only constant that seemed steady and normal to him.

' _What do I do now? Just what_?" and he took another long drink. He was lost heart, mind, body and soul. And he simply couldn't bring himself to care.

_**~ to be continued ~** _

 


	2. Chapter 2

Steve was beside himself with worry and frustration. Danny had been unreachable now for three full days - now going into the fourth day- and it was Steve's fault.

"Where the hell are you?" he said out loud for the hundredth time. He was standing in his office – left hand fisted on his hip – the second fist gripped his cell phone tightly as his knuckles turned white. He was practically yelling into the silent piece of technology as if it was intentionally withholding information from him. He wanted to strangle it.

Kono was on the phone in her office and trying to trace any reported use of Danny's credit cards and she was coming up completely empty. Looking up from her latest idea to track down something, she caught Chin's eye. "Still nothing here." She reported quietly.

Chin grimaced and decided to save Kono from delivering more bad news to Steve. He had exhausted his last possible lead on any sightings of Danny or of the Camaro. Bulletins had been issued to local police about a missing person meeting the detective's description.

Unknowingly, Danny had kicked off a virtual man-hunt on the island as Steve, Chin and Kono went into full shake-down mode. Steve was so frantic by the end of last night, he had alerted the airlines for any sign of his friend. He had also grudgingly and with some trepidation begun calling hospitals.

Steve stalked out of his office and approached his team. "What have you got?" His eyes were dark and brooding. And they were almost menacing when Chin was forced to provide his lackluster update.

The aggravation in Chin's own voice was unmistakable. "Sorry Steve. We're still coming up empty." Chin had also been running scenarios related to their recent cases. It was an attempt to determine any possible relationships by cross-referencing information that would have led to an abduction, kidnapping or hostage situation. Watching Steve's crest-fallen face, Chin reported his lack of findings in this area too. "There's literally nothing."

Kono had come out of her office to join them. "He's just gone? Just like this?" She shook her head in denial and anger. "Well, I'm not sitting here anymore. I'm going out – I'm going to bang on every door and check every lousy beach until I find him. You two do what you want!" And she strode out of the offices with car keys in hand.

Steve and Chin were on her heels before she hit the parking lot. Steve pulled the two together in a brief huddle.

"Fine. Let's do it again and copy the same game-plan. But broaden the circle and hourly updates across the board." Kono was clearly near tears but determined. Not waiting for additional instructions, she announced that she'd take the eastern and southern sides of the city and then continue out to neighboring areas. Slamming her car door, she took off in that direction promising to be in contact every hour.

Chin watched her drive away and smiled in apology for his cousin. "We're all upset here brah."

Steve scrubbed his face with both hands. "Yeah. No kidding. But Chin, this is entirely my fault. I should have backed off and not gone after him like that. God, what was I thinking? The guy's devastated about Rachel and the baby - he's obviously depressed, and what do I do? I pick a fight and kick him out!"

Chin grabbed Steve's shoulder in one hand and gave him a friendly shake. "Hey we were there. Danny was pushing buttons all week. You had his best interests in mind by sending him home. It was the right thing to do. Let's just find him now and get this worked out. I'm sure he's hanging out somewhere with his feet up." Always reasonable, Chin's calm demeanor grounded Steve a little and provided a bit of reassurance.

But not entirely because Steve had more of the back story. Much more in fact. He had witnessed some of the fallout and hadn't fully recognized the warning signs. The immense disappointment on his friend's face in Max's car so many months ago when Danny admitted to Steve that Rachel had been wrong about the timing of her pregnancy. And Chin hadn't seen Danny standing in the maternity ward. Just staring at the baby in the bassinet. Staring at the little boy with such a longing and with just a hint of anger. But then snapping of a picture of the little one with his camera phone? " _Now, I'm asking D. Now. And it may be too late. WHY would you have done that for Stan? Or, did you just say that and the picture was for you?_ "

As they walked to Steve's truck, Chin snagged Steve's truck keys from his hand. McGarrett was on fumes by this point. "What are you doing?"

"Not up for discussion. I'll drive – you navigate." And Chin pushed him in the direction of the passenger side of the truck.

Danny not showing up for work after the first day of being banned from the office was relatively understandable. Actually, that had been the point. Rest. Relax. Regroup. But day two yielded the same non-result. That was out of character for a man addicted to work. No sign of Danny and no communication. That was even more out of the ordinary. On the morning of the third day it was clinched - something was wrong.

Unable to reach Danny by phone, Steve had finally swung by the apartment only to find it eerily quiet. It didn't look like anyone had been there recently. And once the cell phone stopped ringing and fell directly into voicemail, the tight knit team was sent into a state of organized alarm.

 

_**~ to be continued ~** _

 


	3. Chapter 3

Danny woke up at dusk, still feeling the liquor in his system and not entirely sure of where he was. He also didn't know why the bed sheets were bloody, but only gave it a passing thought. If he had cared to notice more, the Hawaiian sunset was blazingly beautiful.

After getting out of the rain and returning to his shabby motel room, over the course of a few hours he had downed more than half of the second whiskey bottle. And then had promptly passed out.

Now looking at the knuckles and the back of his right hand, Danny saw the blood and bruising. He vaguely recalled getting out of the bed at some point and visiting the bathroom. Blood had coagulated across various parts of his hand, but two cuts in particular were actually very deep and still bleeding sluggishly.

His thoughts had been hateful, dark and ominous. He was sick of being used. Used by his ex-wife, by McGarrett's personal vendetta, and he was sure he hated everything about this lousy island.

Staggering to the bathroom, he had wanted to destroy the image of himself in the mirror. So he had tried – a few times in fact. The mirror had shattered on the second punch, but he had kept at it until his knuckles were shredded and glass was falling into the sink and onto the tile floor. The image of him that was left was equally shattered and fractured.

" _What are you doing here? What am I doing here? What happened to our life together?"_

He hated Rachel, but at the same time, he loved her. He loved the mother of his daughter. And he had so wanted that baby to be his. He had rallied as always when he was needed, But now, he hated Stan Edwards the most.

" _And herein lies my problem,_ " he thought to himself. " _Well, no more. No more do I allow myself to be used and abused."_

He had willingly and almost blindly followed Rachel and Grace to this god-forsaken place. The eternal optimist in him had hoped for reconciliation. And here it was tempting him – a new and beautiful package deal. Only to be wrenched from his grasp yet again. " _Yup. You're a total loser Williams."_

During his darkest thoughts, the gun which still lay in his lap, had become larger than life. Looking at it again, he took it up in his damaged hand and turned it to look down its barrel. At some point, he had even taken the safety off.

" _Maybe. Just maybe_." He thought to himself, and then whispered out loud. "Yes. Maybe yes. Might be best." And his breath finally hitched with the idea. "Maybe now." And he took himself out to the scrubby beach and to his rock by the edge of the water. A new bottle of whiskey and his police issued gun in hand. And the safety was still off.

As the sun set on the horizon, Sam looked up from his newspaper and watched his only cash paying" customer" stumble across the parking lot to the beach. "Oh my god, brah." He said out loud as he saw a subtle metal glint in the setting sun and he suddenly didn't know what to do.

He stood up fast, so fast he over-turned his chair and knocked over the bottle of beer he had been enjoying. "Come on Sam, brah. What do you do?" he said to himself, as if he could find an easy answer in his small office.

Though the interactions were limited, Sam liked his newest customer. Not only did he pay cash and he paid well at that, he was quiet and virtually invisible. But Sam was a fairly good judge of character too. And to him, Danny did seem like a nice guy that only needed a bit of space. And suddenly now, maybe just a little bit of help from a friend, or two.

Originally he hadn't been alarmed about Danny's actual level of grief or even of any anger issues. Everyone needs some space now and again – even a Ha'ole. However, and though he strongly suspected that his customer was indeed a cop, he hadn't fully expected to see the drunken and troubled man - weapon in hand – go down to the beach.

Sam finally decided on a hurried visit to Danny's motel room. He nervously chattered to himself as he kept an eye on the receding figure. Night was falling fast as the figure very shakily approached its customary rocky seat by the water's edge.

"Don't want no trouble here. Bad karma brah. I just know you're a cop – maybe Sam can call someone for you." The door wasn't locked and he slid in soundlessly closing the door behind. Flicking on the light, Sam gasped at the bloody sheets on the bed. As he glanced around the small room, he could also see directly into the bathroom. He could easily see the broken mirror and pieces of glass scattered in the sink and on the floor.

"Okay. Okay, so you got a little mad there, brah. No problem with that. We can fix a mirror." And Sam kept moving and looking for a clue to Danny's identity. He recognized the uneaten sandwiches he had purchased and shook his head in disappointment. "That was good food wasted."

He finally spotted the badge thrown haphazardly on the floor. Reaching down he picked it up, pushed it into a pocket, and left the room in darkness just as he had found it.

Sam made a concerted effort to locate Danny on the small beach as he crossed the parking lot and returned to his office. It was almost difficult in the growing darkness. But he was relieved to finally make out a lone silhouette still gazing out across the ocean.

Taking Danny's badge out of his pocket, Sam opened it and saw the Five-O insignia and was thoroughly shocked. Five-O? He glanced up and out across the property again to make sure Danny hadn't moved and reached for the phone. "Just keep sitting there for me." He whispered as the phone rang through to the HPD.

When he got the front desk at HPD, he asked to only speak to someone directly in Five-O. He couldn't put his finger on it, but Sam felt that he needed to be discreet and didn't offer anything more than his first name. He waited briefly as he was transferred and was greeted by a stressed male voice.

"Chin Ho Kelly. Five-O. I understand this is Sam?" He and Steve were driving north and out of the city. After a late dinner on the run, both men had agreed to continue north in order to investigate more remote locations on Oahu. Chin had the caller on speaker as they continued their search. Kono had called earlier. Her voice clearly strained and saddened with her lack of success. She was exhausted and was stopping for a few hours to rest before trying again. After her call, Steve had fallen into a deeper funk and was mute as he stared out the car window into the night. He was clearly not interested in a call from some arbitrary individual named 'Sam'. It was no one they knew and so he was only half-listening.

Not entirely sure what to say, Sam blurted out his first thought. "Yes. Yes. I think I have something of yours here. You missing something, brah? I think I have him here and he may be in some trouble."

Chin glanced at Steve in surprise and quickly pulled the truck over. But as he listened to the caller, Steve's eyes grew very wide and his previous disinterest rapidly turned into alarm. "What are you saying? Who is this? Do you have Danny?" he demanded in anger.

"Easy, Steve. Let's not lose this guy." Chin suggested very softly. Steve put one hand up in self-reproach and gestured for Chin to take over. Nodding, Chin appealed to Sam's kind voice on the phone. "Yes, yes we have. And we're looking for him now. Where – we're on the road now - **where** , brah?"

"You need to get here fast. He's … well, he's lost. He may do something regretful and I just couldn't bear for that to happen."

And Sam described the location of his small motel. "Near the north shore. Akana Beach Motel. Your man is on the beach. Be careful brah .. he's in a bad way and he's got a gun."

Chin was already pulling away from the curb and had the lights and sirens blazing as soon as Sam said 'north shore'. He knew the motel; he knew it as an old derelict of a place and hadn't even realized that it was still in business. They were about thirty minutes out, however Chin was bound and determined to cut that time in half or even better.

"Gun? What else can you tell us?" Steve was shocked and spoke with a bit more force than he realized. " _What have I done? Did I really push you this far Danno?"_

"Steve". Chin cautioned him again sternly. He continued to accelerate, rolling his eyes in irritation and giving Steve a "what did I just tell you" look.

Hearing the sirens over the phone, Sam advised that they come in a bit more low-key.

"He's been here for almost four days. Stays to himself either in the room or just sits on his rock by the beach." Sam hesitated for a brief moment seemingly unsure about sharing this new information. "He's done nothing but drink. I got him some food too, but he's not eaten it."

Chin thanked Sam and advised that they'd be there in roughly ten minutes. He promised to cut the siren and lights well before pulling into the motel parking lot. Sam agreed to meet them outside.

Before ending the call, Sam expressed some added concern. "I'm glad I reached you. And I sincerely apologize for taking his badge. But … but .. he needed help. I thought this was a good idea."

Chin quickly responded to Sam's unspoken words in order to put the man at ease. "No worries, brah. You did the right thing here."

With the call now ended, Steve was literally on the edge of the passenger seat in anticipation. "So, how far out are we?"

Cutting the siren and then the strobe lights, Chin said. "Less than five minutes now. How do you want to handle this?"

Shaking his head sadly, his only reply was "I just don't know. I really don't. We need to get to him first – see what's happening. See where he's at."

The two traveled in total silence until Chin pointed to the old and faded motel signage by the side of the road. Moments later, he eased the truck into the lot where they met Sam who was anxiously pacing near the Camaro.

Steve had his hand on the handle and was out of the truck before it had rolled to a stop. Getting immediately in Sam's face, he demanded fiercely. "Where? Where is he?"

Chin was out of the truck an instant later. He put a firm restraining hand on Steve's left arm. "Easy Steve. Give the man a chance." He advised for the third time. " _You better come out of this okay Danny. Or it's going to get ugly with Steve_."

Almost recoiling at the fury, Sam held his ground and merely pointed towards the beach. He also bravely held up Danny's badge and handed it to Steve, who blanched and then gently took it from the outstretched hand. He grew silent and was pensive as he listened to Sam's description.

"He walked out there brah. Sat down by that rock there just like he always does. He was still there when I called you. But a few minutes ago he got up and started walking up the beach to the right. I was afraid to follow him."

Getting physically between the motel owner and Steve, Chin complimented and thanked Sam. "Thank you. Thank you for your help and for caring. We're going to get him now. It'll be okay."

But when Chin, turned around to address Steve, he saw that he was already gone. Gone down the beach at a rapid jog to find Danny and to intercept the growing feelings of dread.

Taking only seconds to stop and grab a flashlight from the truck, Chin thanked Sam one last time and followed at a dead run in Steve's wake.

_**\- to be continued -** _

 


	4. Chapter 4

Sitting on "his rock", Danny had nearly finished the last and final bottle of whiskey and it now lay on its side in the sand. Even with the drink, he'd been unable to turn his brain off. In fact, it seemed worse as his internal litany continued. " _Maybe. Just maybe. Now. Yes, now._ "

But now looking out across the calm water, he'd grown uncertain and uneasy. He had toy'd with the gun in hands the entire time - flipping it around and around. Even mock pointing it at trees, coconuts and at the ocean.

Disgusted with his own lack of decision, he got up and began a staggered walk down the beach. If he did finally decide – if " _now_ " won out – he didn't want to be near the motel. His stagger down the overgrown and rough beach became more of a stumble in the darkness.

"What the hell kind of beach is this? Freaking. Stupid. Crazy. Island!" He punctuated each word in hatred, as he tripped over roots and managed to slam his bruised and already cut right hand on the jagged volcanic rocks. Working his way over the section in near complete blackness took time. He was hampered by the gun in his left hand and the growing pain in his right. By the time he got to a less obstructed area, he was completely out of breath and light-headed. He couldn't see that the two worst cuts on the back of his hand were again bleeding freely.

A wave of dizziness hit hard and he simply sat down where he'd been standing. He barely noticed how very wet the sand was, as he leaned back against the closest rock.

"Oh, I don't feel well." He moaned quietly and closed his eyes. Too much drink and a four-day lack of food, water and of a healing sleep began to take a toll. Pulling his knees up, he rested his elbows on them and put his hands over his face. Blood slowly dripped down his right forearm from his hand. The sleeve of his shirt was wet with it. The gun remained held tightly in his left hand, but flat against the side of his head.

"Why can't I do this? Why can't I do anything?" he whispered to himself. He thought he heard his name called in the distance, but he didn't pay attention as the evil litany returned. " _Maybe. Just maybe. Now. Yes, now._ "

Steve's heart lurched as he made out the figure in the distance struggling over the rocky shoreline. "Danny!" he yelled as loudly as he could, but the silhouette had disappeared in an instant. He had literally dropped out of sight.

Agilely Steve began to negotiate the limbs, roots and volcanic rock strewn across the wild beach. Suddenly, a light was shown on the jagged section of rock in front of his path and he stopped in surprise.

"Here." And Chin thrust a strong flashlight into Steve's hands. "Forget this?" he said almost sarcastically, and Steve grunted a brief thanks. Then the two then moved together in haste towards where Steve had last seen Danny's figure disappear in the darkness.

Shortly, Chin stopped Steve's forward motion with a warning hand and whispered. "I think I see him, but we may want to kill the light." Steve nodded in agreement and turned off the flashlight. It took a few minutes for their eyes to acclimate, but Chin grabbed Steve's wrist and pointed.

"There. That's him." And they could barely make out Danny sitting forlornly in the sand. As they quietly approached, Steve softly said "hey, Danny?" and glanced at Chin who was slightly in the lead. But he nodded in the negative. Danny hadn't moved and didn't seem to have heard Steve.

Moving closer, the two could more clearly see their friend. His posture hadn't changed from earlier – knees drawn up, head buried in hands – but Steve was disturbed to see the gun in Danny's left hand. It lay flat up against the left side of his head with the barrel pointed towards the sky.

Trying again, Steve softly again called out to him. "Danny. Hey, buddy."

With his face still buried in his hands, Danny mumbled "Go away Steven. You aren't supposed to be here."

Surprised by the reply, Steve stuttered over his next words. "What? Danny." Looking at Chin for support, he tried again. "Have you been here all this time?"

Chin whispered, "Keep him talking". And he nodded in the direction that he planned to travel in order to get around to Danny's other side, closest to the ocean.

Silently agreeing, Steve inched closer to his friend. "Danny. We've been looking for you for days. Have you been here the entire time?" He was trying everything to be soft and non-threatening while his heart was hammering in his chest. All he wanted to do was wrench the gun out of Danny's hand and pull him to safety. " _Come on Danno, talk to me. Put the gun down_."

Danny sighed into his hands. " _McGarrett to the rescue_." He thought sullenly to himself. He didn't feel like talking. He didn't feel like anything. Sighing again, he looked up and saw the unveiled fear in McGarrett's eyes. " _For me? Or for what I might do?"_ His muddled mind couldn't process it clearly.

His only and best comment was a toneless, "You have a face."

And then McGarrett's face did change – multiple times in a split second – and he dared to come closer to Danny. Squatting near him, but still giving him plenty of space, Steve finally agreed to what he'd previously and always denied. He sensed that Chin was almost where he had wanted to be in order to flank Danny. Chin would be closest to the weapon in Danny's hand.

"Yeah Danny. I bet I do have a face this time."

Trying to keep his features schooled, Steve had noticed the blood on Danny's hand and how it had begun to dry and cake to his sleeve all the way down to his forearm – almost to his elbow. While it wasn't life threatening, it looked bad and Steve couldn't really tell where it was stemming from. Steve also saw that he was in the same clothes he had left work in four days ago. " _Danny this so isn't you._ "

"You hurt yourself." He stated it as a matter-of-fact and waited for Danny's next move. "When did that happen?" he coaxed.

Looking down at his hand, Danny seemed confused. "Oh? I don't know …" and he trailed off. Leaning back against the rock, he cradled his right hand in his lap and seemed to finally feel the pain from the wounds. His left hand fell to the sand and he held his gun in a very loose grip.

He closed his eyes and felt his weariness. He could also feel Steve's eyes on him and the waves of stress rolling off his partner. " _Damn you McGarrett. Always getting in my head_."

Continually trying to engage him as Chin moved around, Steve asked. "So, when did you eat last?" Danny's face looked pale and drawn, more so than from a bad drinking bender. Stubbornly, Danny just shrugged a reply. " _Why did it matter?"_ And in honesty, he actually didn't remember.

"Danny. You've been gone four days and you're telling me that you don't know when you last ate something solid?"

Though he still didn't answer Steve, he was mulling over the four days. Had he really been gone that long? Mentally he tried to tally up the time and realized that the baby was now about nine or maybe ten days old. His brain couldn't wrap his head around the math accurately in his current state. He frowned to himself as he tried to count and then finally gave up. _"Impressive Williams. Where does time go when you're having a pity party?"_

Steve saw the slight frown and subtle changes in Danny's expression. He was obviously confused and likely dehydrated as well. Steve saw movement as Chin quietly crept closer.

Quietly and with his eyes still closed, Danny stated blandly. "I probably wouldn't have done it you know." And with self-disgust added, "It's obviously not in my good nature."

After uttering those words, he sensed a second presence and opened his eyes to find someone else kneeling next to him. Danny was momentarily startled and tensed before recognizing the friendly face. " _Chin_?"

To forestall any reactions, Chin put one gentle hand on Danny's shoulder and rested his second hand directly on top of Danny's left one - effectively enveloping the gun. "Well then, you won't mind me holding this for you, while we talk."

Closing his eyes again, he briefly nodded and allowed Chin to take the weapon. There was a sharp intake of breath when Chin realized the safety was off and the gun was fully loaded. He quickly removed the clip and put it in his shirt pocket. Danny's gun was then tucked into the back of his jeans, disarmed and safely out of the way should something escalate.

Looking up, Chin gave a warning look to Steve as he also approached quietly and took a seat closer to Danny in the wet sand. He nodded his understanding. " _Slow and steady_."

Watching closely, Steve went to take Danny's right hand in his own and then hesitated. "Okay if I look at this?" he asked softly. Not getting a reply, Steve waited a second and then risked gently examining the damage. He made a sound when he found the deep and bloody cuts on the back of his friend's hand. "These need stitches, D."

Still no reply was forthcoming from Danny. There was barely a change in his posture or position. Chin soon took a neighboring seat on the ground next to Danny. "You were gone a long time, brah. We missed you."

Danny felt the presence of his two friends and he was listening to their words. But still didn't feel like talking. He was still soul-miserable and didn't want to be soothed. He missed the solid feel of his gun and his left hand almost ached to hold it again. He opened his eyes and looked at Chin. His eyes fell on Chin's holster and then roamed up to his friend's face.

Emotionally rocked, Chin simply said "No. Danny. You don't need it." So he closed his eyes again and leaned deeper back into the rock. He missed the fleeting look of shared alarm between Chin and Steve.

Danny's next words were almost too soft to hear. Almost as if he was speaking to himself. "I hate her you know. And I hate Stan Edwards. And I hate this god-forsaken rock in the middle of nowhere." Danny's eyes were still closed as he quietly rambled. He was still mind-numb from the whiskey, but exhaustion was taking a toll and his hand was beginning to hurt.

Still holding Danny's injured hand; Steve simply couldn't take it any longer. Danny needed to know how much he cared – how much they all cared. He and Chin also had to find a way to get him off the beach and back to at least the motel. They needed him to be fairly mobile to negotiate the terrible rocky and wild shoreline. " _Leave it to you to find the one and only obscenely awful beach on Oahu._ "

Taking a deep breath, Steve put his free hand on Danny's knee and pleaded with his friend and partner for all of their sakes.

"Hey, I know. I know that this whole thing stinks in so many ways. **Danny**." And Steve finally succeeded in getting Danny's eyes to focus on him. "Danny. Please. You're part of our family too and we absolutely refuse to lose you. Can you – please – can you please come home with us now?"

Danny sobered a bit as he listened to Steve. And then he bitterly considered the things he had tried or considered over the last few days. " _So the liquor didn't work. The gun didn't work. And my monk-like sabbatical on this lovely rock-strewn shore didn't work. I even failed at trying to fail."_

Following Steve's lead, Chin chimed in. "Come on Danny. It's been long enough. Let us help you. Let's go home."

But shaking his head in denial, Danny disagreed softly and looked squarely at Chin. "No, I can't. I don't think I can." And he pushed them both away and tuned them out. "Go away. Just go." He whispered, as he closed his eyes and firmly pulled his injured hand out of Steve's gentle grasp.

Steve's heart sank and he looked at Chin with indecision. " _Now what? Now what? Now what?_ " He ran his hands over his face and into his hair. "Danny …"

It was mean-spirited and cruel and Chin very well knew it. But they were both grasping at straws and Danny was effectively shutting down in front of them. They would undoubtedly lose him between the liquor, lack of food, water and exhaustion. And he had already indicated that he would still consider using a weapon. He was still spiraling downwards into an emotional and physical crash. And so Chin drew the courage to ask the one and final desperate question.

"Alright, Danny. We'll go. But tell me one thing. What do we tell your daughter? What do we tell Gracie?"

_**~ to be continued ~** _

 


	5. Chapter 5

Upon asking that one question, the very air seemed to stand still and the silence was deafening. Steve glared at Chin in anger and surprise. " _Too far. We just went too far_." "Chin!" Steve whispered fiercely, and shook his head with an ardent plea of " _What are you doing? Don't go there."_

But Chin blatantly ignored Steve and patiently waited Danny out – waited for some type of response because anything would be better than a complete and total shut-down.

In fact, Danny had practically stopped breathing after Chin voiced his question and her name became a new litany in his head. " _Gracie-Monkey_. _Gracie-Monkey_. _Gracie-Monkey_." It immediately replaced the former and very dark thoughts that had been rattling around moments earlier.

Blindly, he opened his eyes and surprised them by trying to abruptly stand up, only to fall back into the wet sand. "Have to go. Grace." He muttered. "Need to go now." He tried to lurch upwards twice, but his body was spent and wouldn't respond.

Chin and Steve got to his side simultaneously, each grabbing an arm and an elbow, and lifting him to his feet bodily. "Here. Here, Danny." Chin said softly. "Let's go – come on. Let's go see Gracie." Danny moaned and rocked on unsteady legs. He nearly collapsed to the sand again, but they held him up and turned him towards the motel.

Turning on the flashlight with his free hand, Steve was grim-faced as he looked for the best path over the rugged shore line. Nodding to signal Chin that one direction looked best, he took in Danny's pale features and said "Let's go, buddy. Nice and easy."

Carefully, they started to negotiate the way back to the motel. Chin was slightly in the lead and guiding Danny over rocks, tree roots and debris. Steve was firmly holding Danny's right upper arm in an attempt to keep him upright and avoid the injured hand. He was also carrying the flashlight so their path stayed illuminated. Chin was virtually walking backwards and sideways in his effort to keep Danny moving forward safely.

But it was a snails pace and Danny was lagging badly as they made it through the last bit of rock. By then Danny's eyes were screwed shut in either pain or fatigue, and he was valiantly struggling to put one foot in front of the other. He was near collapse and hadn't said a word since he had tried to get up. Had they known, Danny's mental mantra of " _Gracie-Monkey_. _Gracie-Monkey_. _Gracie-Monkey_ ", was persistent as he stumbled along with their aid.

As they finally cleared the worst of it, Steve paused to hand Chin the flashlight and he switched sides to put Danny's good arm over his shoulder. He then took Danny's weight by hoisting him higher with his right arm around his waist as Chin led the way back to the motel. Danny's head hung low and Steve could hear the harsh breathing from his friend. "Almost there. We're almost there." He encouraged. And then there was Sam. Sam was in the parking lot waiting; he had opened another spare, clean room with two beds and was relieved to see the three returning, intact and together.

Indicating the new room, he motioned for them to bring Danny in and lay him down on the closest bed. "I thought he might need to rest, so I opened up this bigger room for you."

Clearly out of breath and distracted, Chin could only nod a brief thanks to the motel owner, who remained in the open doorway. Steve half-carried a near unconscious Danny into the room. Sitting him down, Steve and Chin both got a better look at their friend in the bright lights.

And Danny was a shocking mess from head to toe. "God Danny, what were you thinking?" Steve winced as he took in the haggard face, bloodshot eyes and dark circles. Danny seemed far away and almost shell-shocked. Gently, he shook Danny's shoulder and whispered, "Hey. Are you with us? Danny?"

And finally, he looked at Steve – utterly worn out. The sadness was still there and the loss, but he managed to say one quiet word. "Grace?"

"She's okay Danny. She's fine." Chin reassured soothingly, as he pulled down the bed covers and blankets. "We're going to clean you up, get some sleep, and call her first thing in the morning. Okay, brah? It's late and she's sleeping now." Danny turned his gaze to Chin as he absorbed the words. Slowly, very slowly, Danny nodded an agreeable _okay_ and while still sitting, his body sagged and he closed his eyes.

Sensing the physical crash was coming and coming quickly; Steve and Chin removed shoes and wet clothing and settled Danny on the pillows, under warm blankets. Danny did little to help and seemed almost oblivious to their ministrations. "I need a first aide kit." Steve sat down on the bed and gently picked up Danny's hand. "Let's try and clean this up and see how bad it really is."

Retrieving the well stocked kit from the truck, he and Chin worked on the bruised and badly swollen hand. Grimacing, Steve carefully removed dried blood and dirt until he could see the worst of the cuts. Chin swore softly when he saw the deep wounds. "What did he do this on?"

"The mirror. In the bathroom." They heard Sam speak softly from the doorway. The kindly motel owner hadn't left as they cared for Danny. "There's glass everywhere. I think he punched it pretty well to pieces."

"Yeah, he'd do something like that." Chin noted wryly, as he began to wrap the hand in clean bandages. "It could be too late for stitches. But he'll need to see a doctor. See if he broke anything or damaged a tendon."

Watching the two care for his 'best customer', Sam was relieved to see that he had done right by looking through Danny's belongings and calling them for help. He then decided to contribute just a few more items and excused himself.

Steve continued to sit on the bed next to Danny. He studied his friend's face and was miserable. He then looked down at the now bandaged hand. "I'm sorry, Danny. So very sorry." He whispered. " _I should have known this could happen_."

Chin sat down on the second bed and watched Steve. But before he could say anything, Sam returned to the room. He had a pot of coffee in one hand and three mugs in the other. One large mug appeared to be already full as they could see it steaming. "What's all this?" Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

Motioning to Danny, he handed the one full mug to Steve. "Chicken broth, for him. See if you can get it into him. And this here – this here is coffee for you two." He winked at Chin and set the pot and additional two mugs on the small round table. "Don't have milk. So I hope you like it black. If you need anything else, I'm across there." And he gestured back to his office as he quietly closed the door.

Steve looked up at Chin as he held the steaming mug of broth. With eyebrows still raised, he was incredulous. "Of all places, Danny's lucky to have wound up here." Steve allowed himself to briefly relax. " _Yes, I think we're all fairly lucky right now, D._ "

"Yes, yes he is." Chin affirmed to Steve's statement, as he joined him by Danny's side. "And he's right about trying to get something warm into this guy. So let's give it a try."

Gently, both Chin and Steve coaxed Danny into waking enough to sip the hot broth. Hearing him grumble nonsense the entire time made each man smile. A complaining Danny was a good thing and it was music to their ears. They eventually managed to help him down the entire contents of the mug. Finally mumbling something about mother hens and misplaced goodwill, Danny turned over on his side and fell asleep.

**~ to be continued ~**

 


	6. Chapter 6

Glancing at his watch, Steve was shocked to see it near midnight. Still sitting by Danny's side, he looked up as Chin dropped a mug of hot coffee into his hand. "Here you go." He said softly as he sat down on the second bed and braced himself against the old headboard. "I guess we're staying here tonight. Might as well get comfortable."

Steve nodded his thanks, sipped the hot coffee, and got up to briefly pace the small room. Sighing, he placed his still full mug on the dresser and then decided to sit on a spare corner chair near the window. " _That was close. Too close_." Leaning back in the rickety chair, he stretched his entire body and closed his eyes as he settled his head back against the wall.

"We should call Kono and bring her up to speed. Tell her to stay home or go home if she went back out. Or … whatever." He trailed off, tonelessly. Still keyed up and unable to truly sit still, Steve was up barely ten seconds later and out the door to call Kono from the parking lot.

Chin comically arched his eyebrows and silently watched Steve fidget. Inwardly, he grinned at the antics since it was so typical of the man when he was worried, obsessed with a concept, or needed space to think. Even though the immediate crisis was diverted and they finally had Danny safely in their care, Steve was a tense ball of energy. He simply didn't know what to do with himself.

As he sat with his own mug of coffee, Chin watched Danny sleep. His friend was dead to the world and likely wouldn't have heard a bomb drop. Some healthier color had already started to return to Danny's still drawn face. " _You look exhausted even in your sleep_ ". Chin thought sadly.

Exhaling, Chin hoped that Danny would eventually forgive him for using Grace to bring him home. Oddly, Chin's own strength of character didn't allow him to be entirely remorseful. "I know I did the right thing, Danny. I'm not sorry for doing it. We all needed you back and …" Chin hesitated. "And Grace – well - Grace would have been devastated." He whispered to his sleeping friend. "You'll know that eventually. At least I hope you will."

Equally as stressed as Steve, Chin moved all the pillows behind his back. He leaned his head against the headboard and, still cradling his coffee, closed his eyes.

Outside, Steve sat against the hood of the Camaro and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He swore when he saw that Kono had called three times and he had multiple voicemails. " _Of course, the hourly check in_." He mentally chastised himself as he readied himself for the verbal backlash. " _We were admittedly a little busy, but_ s _he's going to be furious …_ "

Taking a deep breath, he speed-dialed her and sure enough, Kono answered on the first ring practically biting Steve's head off in frustrated anger. " **Boss** \- it's about time! Where have you two been? I've been trying to reach you for hours."

"Kono …we…" he started, but didn't get very far as he was interrupted by her tirade. "This better be good, Steve. Where are you? Did you get any of my voicemails? Any of them? Do you know how worried I've been?"

Trying again and with more force, Steve loudly tried to get her attention. "Kono. Stop! We have him …" There was a momentary stunned silence on the connection. Taking advantage of it, he repeated himself. "We have him. Kono. Alright? We found him on the north shore. He's a bit of a mess, but we have him. We're going to stay the night here – we're going to stay at the motel where we found him."

On the other end, Kono was dumbfounded and questions flooded her mind. But she only managed to stammer out one simple statement. "Oh my god. Boss. Where .. where are you? I'll come right now." Steve could hear commotion on Kono's end as car keys jangled and a door slammed.

Quickly Steve stopped her in her tracks. "Hey, hey wait. Kono, would you do me a favor?" He could hear that she was in her car as the sound of keys continued to chime in his ear. "Sure Boss, anything. What do you need?"

"Do me a favor and come up tomorrow." Sensing another angry interruption coming, Steve quickly added. "Come up tomorrow around mid-morning to the Akana Beach Motel with some stuff that we need for Danny. A change of clothes, toiletries, shaver - things like that – he needs everything. He's got nothing here." Briefly silent, Kono was at first irritated but she then realized what he wasn't saying. She quietly asked. "Steve, is he okay?"

His intake of breath and slight hesitation told her volumes and confirmed her fears. "He's not, is he …" she stated sadly.

"Kono." Steve started and then stopped. He was trying to find the right words and wasn't sure there were any. "Kono. Like I said, he's a bit of a mess. He's had a rough few days here alone. If you could please bring some things here tomorrow, it honestly would be a help."

With a loud puff of frustration, Kono sat back in her car and removed her keys from the ignition. "Yeah, yeah sure. No problem. I'll get some things together and be there. I'll definitely be there."

"Good. Thank you." Steve said softly. "Danny's finally sleeping. Chin and I are staying here with him. We're going to try and get some rest. You do the same and I'll see you in the morning."

Ending the call, Steve rocked off the Camaro and began walking the parking lot. Even now he remained on edge and needed air before going back into the motel room. Passing room nine, he noticed the door was not firmly shut. " _Danny's first room?_ " He tried the handle and it easily opened. Steve turned on the light as he entered and was shocked by what greeted his eyes. The bloody sheets now dry, were of course still on the bed. And he could see the bathroom and the mirror Sam had described. Shards of glass littered the sink and old tile floor. A small trail of blood from Danny's damaged hand led from the bathroom and to the bed. The empty whiskey bottle and the uneaten food, now spoiled and which was beginning to stink up the place.

There wasn't much to see. But Steve was distressed just the same. " _I caused this. I didn't help when I should have. I knew better._ " Angry with himself all over again, Steve turned to leave but spied the cell phone dropped carelessly on the dingy floor and retrieved it. Once it was charged, Steve knew that Danny would have a multitude of missed calls and voicemails. Not only from himself, but also from Gracie looking for her Danno. Grace called daily and sometimes twice at that depending upon what had happened at school or to just say goodnight. There would be a good many messages missed over a four-day period.

Muttering to himself, Steve left the room and closed the door firmly. Going to his truck, he got his spare cell phone charger from the glove compartment. "Chin's right. It's going to be the only way."

Returning, Steve quietly slid into the larger room and closed the door. He was pleased to see that Danny hadn't moved and seemed to be peaceful. While Chin appeared to be at first sleeping, he wasn't and he cracked an eye to watch Steve plug in the cell phone charger for Danny's phone.

"Kono will be here in the morning. I asked her to bring some things for Danny." Steve quietly explained to Chin.

"That's a good idea. And where'd you find that?" he asked, pointing to the cell phone.

"His other room. Saw the broken mirror too, so Sam was right on there." Steve rubbed one hand over his face. He was exhausted now, but he wasn't sure he could shut his brain off enough to sleep. "You were right, Chin. Bringing up Grace out there. You were so right."

Chin nodded in appreciation. "Thank you. Really." Chin said with sincerity. Looking at Danny and back to Steve, he added. "I just hope that he forgives me for it."

Steve smirked with just a hint of sarcasm, brandished Danny's cell phone and then plugged it into the charger. "Well then. Let's just hope then that he can forgive both of us for what we are about to do!"

**~ to be continued ~**

 


	7. Chapter 7

Offering him a pillow, Chin motioned for Steve to join him up against the headboard of the old motel bed. Steve was dejected and somber as he positioned himself next to his friend.

"He scared me, Chin. With that gun – he really did. Thank god you were there. Thank god, you got it from him. But then – **then** \- when he looked at your side arm. I was so sure. So **sure** , that he'd go for it." With his voice low, Steve was almost talking to himself.

"Yeah, I know." Chin agreed. "None of us had any idea it was this bad for him. But he's here and he will get over it. He will. He's strong. We just have to help him get over this bump in the road." Steve snorted in mock disdain at Chin's choice of words. "Bump? More like a great abyss." Steve leaned his head back and closed his eyes again.

Chin knew all about that abyss. It was the same one that nearly ate up his life after the allegations of theft which caused him to lose his badge, be shunned by his own family – and subsequently then by Malia. The very same bottomless abyss that put him on his own long term "weekend bender" of sorts. But his had lasted for a much longer and depressing time period where he constantly did a stellar job of beating himself up on a daily basis. He was very glad to be over it.

Since it pre-dated the formation of the Five-O team, Steve wouldn't have known the depths of Chin's despair during those times. How equally dire and dark those long days had been for him. Only Kono's love and perpetual support, plus the creation of his Five-O team and new family quite literally saved his life.

Looking at Danny's restful sleep, Chin knew it would be okay. It would only take time – lots of it - and a family's support. And in that regard, Danny was already well ahead of the game.

Inwardly he smiled and noted that Steve was finally sleeping. He closed his eyes as well and followed suit. All of them were plainly exhausted and needing of a healing rest.

Sometime towards early morning, Steve woke with a start. He had been dreaming – dreaming that first Danny was there in front of him, and then had simply disappeared. His mental shout woke him up. " _Danny_!" He bolted into a sitting position off the old bed's headboard and simultaneously disturbed Chin, who had rolled over on his side to face Danny's direction. With a drowsy and garbled, "What happened?" Chin also sat up. "Steve?" Chin's sleep hadn't been that sound. He'd been merely dozing on and off to ensure Danny hadn't budged. In fact, other than changing positions during the night, Danny was still out for the count and oblivious. Chin didn't think he'd be up for many hours yet.

"He's fine, brah." Chin said softly. "Go back to sleep. I'm watching." Assuring himself with his own long appraising look at his sleeping partner, Steve nodded and tried to resume his position up against the headboard. But he was now fully awake and uncomfortable; he left the bed to sit in the side chair.

"My turn. Get some real sleep." He instructed Chin, who gratefully agreed without a word and rolled over to take up the whole of the second bed. Steve grinned and poured himself a fresh mug of coffee from Sam's carafe. Silently toasting him, Steve was once again indebted for the motel owner's thoughtfulness.

About an hour later Steve was thoroughly bored and again restless. With the physical and emotional stresses of the past four days, Danny hadn't moved a muscle and was catching up on badly needed rest. Chin was snoring peacefully in the second bed.

Checking his watch, Steve saw that it was approaching six a.m. His internal clock had him up and out of bed virtually every day at this time. Today was no exception. So he quietly left the chair; located Danny's car keys, and decided to check on the Camaro. They'd be leaving today and he wasn't sure about the condition of the vehicle. Silently he left the room and walked over to where the car was parked outside the short stretch of motel rooms. Unlocking it, he got in and turned on the battery so that the gauges were illuminated. "Yup, needs gas." Steve noted aloud. Turning it off and getting out of the car, he decided that he'd get gas once Chin had more rest and woke up, or when Kono arrived with Danny's things.

Heaving a sigh and feeling somewhat useless, he decided to take a short walk down to what Sam called Danny's "rock" to check out the beach front – or lack thereof – during daylight hours. Strolling slowly down the short path from the parking lot, Steve took in the beautiful morning. He could feel a soothing light breeze and the pounding surf could be heard in the distance – it was Steve's favorite time of day and it was starting off brilliantly. Any other time, he'd be getting ready for a run or a good swim. He was lost in those soothing thoughts, scents and sounds when he nearly stumbled into Sam who was returning from the beach with an empty whiskey bottle in his hand.

Sam cautiously offered Steve a hesitant smile and waggled the bottle in his hand. "Good morning. Thought I'd get this off the beach. How's our friend?"

Steve couldn't help but grimace when he saw the empty bottle. But he managed to shake off the worry. " _We do have him. And he is safe._ "

Finding himself again, Steve warmly held out his hand to the friendly motel owner. "Listen, Sam. I'm truly sorry for all of this." Steve gestured aimlessly around. "And I'm sorry for being so abrupt last night. Actually, no. No, I was definitely a jerk." Taking a breath, Steve continued as he tried to offer an explanation and an apology to Sam.

"But we've been searching for Danny for days. And I haven't even introduced myself and I need to thank you for all you've done." He was starting to ramble and forced himself to stop. With a mental shake, he laughed out loud and said to Sam. "Steve McGarrett, Five-O. Hello, Sam it's a real pleasure to meet you!"

Relaxing and smiling more openly, Sam took Steve's hand. "It's good to meet you too."

"He's okay then? Better at least?" Sam inquired about Danny. "I'm sure he's going to feel pretty bad when he wakes up."

With an affirmative nod, Steve agreed. "Yeah, but he's been sleeping since we got back here. That's a huge benefit."

"So, can I ask what happened to him?" Sam gently questioned. "I knew he was down in the dumps when he got here. But I figured he just needed to get away. I had no idea it would come to something like this."

Not wanting to say too much, Steve did feel that Sam was owed some sort of explanation. "Sure, sure. You've gone above and beyond to help out." Considering what to safely say, Steve simply shared a partial truth.

"It's complicated of course. You can plainly see **that**. But in a nutshell, he has a couple of issues with his ex-wife and there are kids involved. Danny is especially close to his daughter, Grace." Smiling, Steve added to himself " _And he's a sensitive guy, our Danno._ "

"Ah. Could have guessed that one myself." Sam chuckled. "I have a few of those. Yes, I do."

"A few? A few … of what?" Steve said in surprise.

"Wives. I have three ex-wives, brah. Try that on for a pile of complicated issues." Softly chuckling again, Sam felt immediately obligated to apologize. "Now I'm not making light of our friend's issues. I'm surely not. It's only that I most often have learned to laugh at myself."

Smiling broadly now, Steve nodded and put both his hands up in the air without offense. "Three, huh? I don't know what to say to that Sam. I have absolutely no words at all!"

Walking back towards the parking lot together, Steve got an idea. "Hey, Sam. If it's not too much trouble, would you run some minor interference for me? I'd like to take Danny's car and fill it up. It's about on empty and I've got time to kill while both Danny and Chin are sleeping. I'll probably be back before they wake up anyway. But would you mind letting them know where I went? Just in case?" Steve asked. Wide awake now, Steve thought he'd go crazy with inactivity.

Agreeing readily, Sam explained that he'd watch the room and intercept Chin should he awaken before Steve got back. "No problem. No problem at all. I'll put on more coffee too. You're welcome to stop back here when you get back."

Giving Sam a huge smile of genuine thanks. Steve jogged over to the Camaro and took advantage of a brief respite. He slowly drove it out of the motel parking lot and towards the nearest gas station.

Rolling over in bed, Chin was sure he heard a car outside the room and realized McGarrett was gone. "Where did you go off to?" he muttered quietly. Assuming correctly that Steve was likely getting gas or running a similar errand, Chin sat up to again check on Danny.

"Sleeping beauty still sleeps." Danny was on his back now and was still buried in the warm blankets. Only his injured right hand was visible and laying lightly on his chest. His breathing was slow and regular, and though his face was still somewhat strained even in sleep, his coloring was back to normal.

Tucking the blankets gently around his friend, Chin decided to take a quick shower while Danny continued his deep sleep. With or without clean clothes, he felt a need to freshen up for what would undoubtedly be a long day ahead.

As Chin closed the bathroom door and started the water in the shower, Danny stirred slightly. As his senses became awake, he heard running water coming from far away. But his mind was muddled and he was confused. Forcing himself to open his eyes, he frowned as he stared up at an old white ceiling. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out where he was. Registering a dull throbbing in his right hand, he lifted it up and was surprised to see heavy bandaging.

"What?" he whispered. "Where?" Struggling to sit up, he untangled himself slowly from the bedding and tried to stand up. The room spun and he quietly moaned as he felt a stabbing pain in his head. Leaning over, he panted through the dizziness and pain until it became a dull roar. As he slowly straightened to stand, both his head and right hand throbbed in unison. He slowly redressed in his now dry, but ruined clothes that had been tossed over a chair. He could hear that the running water was obviously from the shower in the bathroom and realized that he was still at the motel. Gradually he began to recall dark bits and pieces of the beach, a gun, Steve and Chin. And then Grace – he remembered Grace.

"Oh god, Grace." And though he couldn't remember everything from that prior evening, he did remember Chin's question to him about Gracie. "I didn't forget you. I swear that I didn't forget you." He whispered to the empty room. Staggering forward on very unsteady legs, he looked around and realized that Steve and Chin, while not currently present, were both very much with him. And he was comforted by the thought.

Bracing himself with his good hand on the low table, he breathed through another bout of dizziness. When it passed, he saw his cell phone in a charger. Not caring how it had gotten there, he snagged it out of the cradle and turned it on. In seconds, he saw his daughter's beautiful face on his screensaver. He had missed several calls and had voicemail messages.

Continuing his careful shuffle, Danny left the room bare foot with every intention of driving off in his car. He absolutely would see Grace that day. Until he realized both his keys and the Camaro were gone.

"Oh for pities sake, Steven!" he barked in a gravely voice as he slammed the motel room door shut in a fury. " _God, I hate him. I hate him so much_."

He stood there for a moment in complete and utter disbelief. And finally, in filthy clothes, bare of foot, cell phone in hand, with the hangover from hell, and now effectively locked out of his room – Danny Williams laughed until he cried.

Still snickering to himself, he wiped the tears from his eyes as he staggered barefoot across the parking lot and to his "rock". Sitting down he checked his voicemail and heard Gracie's equally beautiful voice. In four days, he had missed four calls from his precious daughter and too many to count from Steve. Skipping the ones from Steve, he focused on those only from Grace.

The first two calls were happy, carefree messages about school and homework. Grace had gotten an A on a math test. The third call was a wish goodnight in a disappointed voice that clearly said "where are you daddy?"

Sobering Danny listened to the final message. While Grace knew that Danno worked odd hours, she was clearly upset on her inability to reach him. And he always called her back, so she was twice as confused. She explained that she would be going to a sleepover after school on Friday – to her friend, Katie's house for the weekend and she was very excited. But she hoped he was okay. And when she ended her call with a very sad "I love you Danno." It undid him and his tears became real.

He sat on the rock and tried to compose himself so that he could call Gracie. He wasn't sure what he'd say, but he'd do his best. " _God, I don't even know what day it is_." Checking his cell phone, he saw it was Friday morning and it was very early – too early yet to place that call.

Danny could wait and he exhaled slowly. Staring out at the ocean he tried to still his heart and calm his mind. He was still very tired and both head and hand throbbed. But he could wait for Grace. His one and only true concern would always be his beloved daughter.

Hearing his name called in the distance, he turned towards the sound and saw Chin coming his way on a dead run and Sam was with him but keeping a respectful distance.

Sighing, he slowly and painfully stood and began to walk towards them.

**~ to be continued ~**

 


	8. Chapter 8

As he started his shuffle walk back towards the motel, Danny stumbled once and accidentally dropped his cell phone. His little excursion had physically exhausted him and while listening to Grace's voice certainly revived part of his soul, he was still emotionally drained.

He slowly bent to pick up the cell phone and froze as he stared at the screen. He had expected to see Grace's smiling face on a swing set. But in either the actual fall or when he had picked it up, the last picture taken with the phone's camera was now showing – and it was the picture of baby Charlie in the maternity ward bassinet.

Zoning out, the ominous emotional flood came back full force and he felt his vision graying. " _Rachel. He should be mine …_ "

He started to dangerously list to one side as his knees weakened. Chin arrived just in time to halt his descent to the sand. Hair still wet from his shower, his clothes were also damp proving that he had simply thrown them on his body. He had heard the door, but had assumed Steve was back. And so, he hadn't immediately rushed out of the bathroom to check on Danny. But then he had heard Sam banging on the door to the small motel room – yelling for help. He was breathless and wide-eyed and looked about ready to have a heart attack.

"Danny. What are you dong? Where were you going?" Chin asked as he willed his heart to stop its hammering in his chest. Holding him at arm's length, he gave Danny a once over to ensure there was no physical harm to his friend. "You okay? What are you doing outside, brah?"

But Danny wasn't answering and Chin needed Sam to take up Danny's weight on the other side as his knees buckled again.

"Okay, Danny. It's okay." Chin tried to draw him back out fearing the black look on Danny's face and the new tremble in his body. He pulled Danny's arm over his shoulder in an effort to guide him bodily back towards the room.

"Hey. Why don't you give me that and we'll go sit down." Chin attempted to take the phone with his free hand. But Danny firmly wrestled it back to study the image on the screen, "No. No. It's mine."

Looking briefly at Sam, Chin indicated that they needed to get Danny back to the room, and quickly. Working together, the two men virtually dragged Danny through the parking lot and got him seated on the bed.

Wondering what to do to help, Sam watched Danny with sympathy and concern, "Should I go? More broth maybe?" With all his attention focused on his friend, Chin nodded without looking up, "Yeah. Thanks Sam. He needs that or even something more solid to eat."

Sam left, closing the door firmly to the room. Danny was seated on the bed staring at the baby's image on the cell phone. His mind was in turmoil and he wasn't even aware of Chin's presence. " _He should be mine …he should be. It's not right._ "

Running his hand through his wet hair, Chin knelt in front of Danny and tried to get his attention by closing his hand over Danny's left one on the cell phone. As Danny tried to jerk away, Chin doggedly refused to let go. Frowning with frustration, Danny finally looked up and realized that he was with Chin and that Chin was speaking to him. " _What_?"

Eventually, he began to actually hear the softly murmured words. "Okay, Danny. It's okay. Why did you go outside? Did you call Grace?" Was it Grace, Danny?" Confused, he tried to remember what had happened just a few minutes ago.

" _Gracie_." Very slowly, he relaxed his hand and allowed Chin to take the phone. Chin quickly defaulted to the screensaver and handed the phone back to Danny. "Was it Grace, Danny? Did you call her?"

Now seeing Grace's picture, Danny closed his eyes and, still frowning, he finally responded to Chin's urgent questions and nodded briefly. " _Yes, it was Grace. I didn't forget her._ "

"Grace." He paused, before continuing. "She called and I missed her. All this time, I missed her messages." Finally more aware of his surroundings, Danny's voice strengthened and he became more certain. "I woke up and saw my phone. I went outside and I listened to her voice, Chin. I listened to all of her messages." He trailed off and tried to make sense of his feelings. With his eyes still closed, he could feel his head pounding and the constant fatigue. "I need to call her. I need to call her today."

Giving Danny a small shake, Chin smiled and said, "That's easy enough to do. She'll understand that you've been a little out of pocket. No worries." And then getting more serious, Chin took advantage of Danny's seemingly responsive mood.

"Hey, Danny. You do know that we're all here to help, right? That you can talk to anyone of us? We're really worried about you and this whole situation with Rachel and the new baby."

Sighing heavily, Danny declared defeat. "I thought I could handle it. But it just kept coming and coming." Looking directly at Chin, he admitted, "And you know, I'd take her back still. Right now. I love her Chin. Plain and simple." - " _God, I feel like crap and I'm such a fool._ " With hunched shoulders, he placed his phone on the bed and covered his face in his hands.

Sitting next to Danny on the bed, Chin threw a friendly arm over his friend's shoulders and drew him into a light hug. He could feel the weakness and fatigue. One mug of chicken broth and only seven hours of sleep wasn't going to cut it. Add in an impromptu walk and an emotional twist, and Danny was nearly back to where he was the previous night. So Chin made a choice to keep pushing in an attempt to kick-start Danny's healing process.

"You know what? And that's okay. It's perfectly okay to love Rachel. But Danny – and I speak from experience. Never at the expense of who you are – this whole thing is messing with your head. It's consumed you in a bad way." Chin continued quickly. He felt that he had Danny's attention and needed to make an impact on the man.

"When you're ready – and you will get to that point - you're going to have to just let it all go. All of it, my friend. Focus on Grace. No matter what happens between you and Rachel, that child deserves and needs you."

For some time there was absolutely no response from Danny. Chin could feel his breaths rise and fall. He could feel the constant tension in Danny's body and he began to doubt himself. " _Maybe I was wrong about this._ "

But as Danny simply sat next to Chin, he had truly listened to every word and he was coming to a decision. He decided that Chin was right in so many ways. He decided that he wouldn't risk any part of his life or his relationship with Gracie.

Apprehensive that his words had the wrong effect, Chin quietly said, "I'm sorry." He slowly got up and stood in front of Danny's unmoving and hunched body. "Headache, Danny? Would you be able to eat something?"

Becoming more disturbed by the sheer lack of reaction, Chin knelt down and placed his hands on Danny's shoulders. "Please, Danny. Say something. Anything."

Finally and in a small, choked voice Danny was able to verbalize his thoughts to a relieved Chin, "Yes. Yeah, you're right." He vaguely noted that the tiniest of weights had lifted from his shoulders. And as he looked up at Chin, he gave a slight smile and nodded.

Exhaling with utter relief, Chin affectionately slapped Danny's shoulder and beamed a huge smile of his own.

And then five seconds later, the door to the motel room flew open and Steve burst in nearly beside himself with worry. Sam was on his heels carrying a tray laden with food.

"What the hell happened!" he demanded looking from Chin to Danny.

Almost too calmly, Danny replied first, "You just had to do it. You just had to steal my car …"

Shocked, Steve had no immediate reply for the unexpected allegation. Meekly, he tried to explain. "I just got gas Danny."

Finding it hysterical, Chin couldn't conceal his unexpected mirth. It started with an amused snort and then Chin dissolved on the bed into a ball of uncontrollable laughter.

Shaking his head in denial, Danny was also unable to hold back and as the sounds of laughter filled the room, Steve was left standing totally baffled and bewildered in the doorway.

"And now what the hell is **THIS** all about? What?"

_**~ fin ~** _

 


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